Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Feeling his pain...

Sooooo...........as you know, we talk about our Aliyah all the time these days. I'm feeling really good about how the boys are taking it, sometimes.

The little one, has no REAL clue, but when you ask Ilan if he's going to go to GAN, he says, "yes, I go to gan tomowow, okay?"

Aviv also is thinking about it...somehow the topic of chicken pox came up. "If I get chicken pox, I won't be able to move to Israel." Not sure if he said that hoping to get them or NOT to get them. I think it's the later. He seems to be really excited and has already made comments like, "How come we're not moving to Israel?" when I reply, "what do you mean, we're moving to Israel this summer." He then says, "it's just taking so long to be summer!" very cute.

But then the other day, he was feeling a bit down and was going on about how he can't move to Israel because he'll miss his friends. He cried really intensely for a good 5 minutes or so. I hate that he has to feel sad about it, and that he has to be worried.

I guess if I think of him as a smaller version of us, however, then it makes sense. We have good days and bad days. Some days we're so excited talking about one thing or another, and the next day hubby will come home all freaked out that he's feeling so settled in his job and how scary it is to not even have a job to be going to.

This is one of the hardest parts about being a parent though.....knowing that you need to sometimes make decisions for your family that aren't the easiest or the most comfortable in the heart department. I hate to see his pain, his tears, and the look on his face just before the tears come when he's truly feeling the sadness.

I know it will pass, and I also know there will be many more tears shed. I just have to hold on to the thought that we're doing this for them...for all of us. I need to remind myself that we're doing this because "It just feels right." and leave it at that.....