Friday, April 18, 2008

Spring is time for renewal....

As we are about to start the holiday of Pesach (Passover), it reminds me of the whole thought of renewal, symbolic of spring, and starting over etc. etc. Well, for those of you who may have been wondering why I haven't written in a while, there is a reason. In the beginning weeks of my waning blogging in the last couple of months, it was for a good reason. I was in the beginning stages of pregnancy.....exhausted, excited, and thinking of nothing but. I couldn't blog about it cuz we weren't telling yet. Just WE (hubby and I) knew. We had planned on telling close family after the first doctor's visit, and then the world after Pesach, which would be almost the end of first trimester.

Unfortunately (you see where this is going, don't you?), I lost it in the 7th week. The day before my first doc's visit, something just wasn't right. She confirmed that it was shakey, but it wasn't gone. Within an hour of the visit however, I knew too well what we had feared. I was devastated, cried for a good part of the next day or two, and just tried to rest as much as I could. The doc confirmed what I knew the next evening, and sent me home to wait it out.

And here I am a week later. All of the preg. symptoms are gone, but of course the hormones still rise and fall and catch me when I least expect it. I try to look at it rationally, and I know there is a positive side to least it was early being one of the main thoughts. And the other is that yes, we can still try again, and we will, with a renewed sense of being, with a clear head, and with an appreciation for how extremely precious and wonderful creating life can be.

On that note, Chag Pesach sameach to you all, Happy Passover.......B'shana habaa b'Yerushalayim! Next year in Jerusalem!!!